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The Climb to Banahaw
September 29, 2010“A saint is one who exaggerates what the world neglects”, the very words of G.K. Chesterton make me ponder on all the things I have encountered during the entire trip to Banahaw. As I mull over the statement, I realize that maybe it is just the idea of a man dying for the obscure ideals the world antagonizes that brought Rizal in the ranks of the gods. Further readings on these people’s doctrines and bases of faith present the juxtaposition of the ‘misinterpretation’ of the scriptures with its right exhortation and practice. Perhaps maybe, just maybe the Rizalians interpreted the scriptures in a manner pertinent to their culture coupled with their adoration to the glorified individual who died for the country.
Professor Iniego was right when he asked the students for an open mind. Truly, one will not understand the peculiarities of the Rizalian faith without first emptying his mind and setting aside all his assumptions and doctrines. It was a tough move for me to make but at the end of it all, I realize it was something that one could rejoice about. That at some point, we were tested of how deeply we are rooted with our own beliefs and doctrines, of whether or not we will yield to these new ideas presented. In fact the whole experience imposed a challenge on me: when thrown with questions and arguments towards my own faith, how will I respond?
Case in point is the testimony of the guide from SFCC that caught me off guard. When he talked about his salvation and how he came to a decision to honor and worship Rizal as a personality of God, I admit I was puzzled. His emotions were so real that at some point I wanted to believe every thing he says. But then as I reevaluate, it was just the sincerity and the genuineness of his emotions and the passion he exudes that convinced me, and not the details of his proclaimed faith.
On a more neutral side, I encountered different ways to honor Rizal: as a saint, a god, the Christ, the right-hand of God, and even the reincarnation of Jesus Christ. Nevertheless, all of these point to one thing, Rizal is just a subordinate to the Most High and that the latter deserves the highest praise. Also all of the sects in the area required rituals for salvation, repentance and baptism. My question, which I failed to ask during the trip is, do they have to do all of these rituals every time they sin? Or is it a one-time oath for every individual? Because if these are done in a daily, weekly or monthly basis, I wouldn’t be able to survive. Although I had lots of fun hiking, crawling inside the caves and swimming in the waters, I think I wouldn’t dare doing all of those again. The Calvary to emphasize was the hardest part of the trek. It was a literal portrayal of the hardships Christ endured on his way to the Cross, which by the way was situated at the top of the mountain. In all fairness, it was in parallel with Golgotha only that the latter was a hill and not a mountain. The Cueva de Jusgado on the other hand for me was a real test of faith and flexibility rather than judgment. I had to literally cry out to God for help while my leg muscles cramped. Thanks to my group mates who took their share of the same agony and fighting spirit.
To end, during the entire course of the entire trip, I thought of how loving GOD is. That while my feet hurt because of the trail and my legs were stressed to the point of having cramps, I still rejoiced and worshipped GOD more. It was one of the moments that I felt this overwhelming thankfulness to God for His grace; that I do not have to hike the mountains barefooted, to enter caves and pass through all the skin-piercing obstacles in order to be saved. That what I only need is a sincere heart desperately crying out for forgiveness and a God who is so merciful and gracious. For me the Banahaw trip was one of the times that I appreciated the work that God was doing in my life. Yes, Rizal could be a saint but for me he can never be a god. In addition, in terms of sanctification, I must not forget the fact that I too, am a saint. This I believe is non-debatable, for it will require others an open mind and perhaps another trip. This time it would no longer be in Banahaw but in the realm of the Christian faith 
Forgiveness, more of it please…
September 11, 2010I have learned a lot from the story of Jesus Christ, but one thing that I often fail to remember and to put into practice is the concept of forgiveness. Forgiveness is what makes Christianity unique I know, but when faced with a circumstance calling for it, I feel alienated like it is my first time to encounter the need for it. Maybe it is because of my pride, or maybe it is because of the pain I feel after every offense but regardless of the reason, I still fail to readily offer it.
When Christ called out to God while on the cross, He asked Him to forgive all the people for they did not know what they were doing. I do it often, I cry to God for Him to forgive them and I thought it was enough. I fail to recognize the point that no one should ever miss, that when Jesus Christ asked God to forgive them, He Himself already forgave them for He and the Father are one. Asking God to forgive them is never synonymous to me forgiving them. It makes sense. That is why God calls out to me so often telling me to forgive, to guard my heart and to ask for a new one.
I am a woman of words, even my leader could testify about it. That’s why I am easily offended. And the tough part is, as easily as I get offended must I easily forgive. That doubles the torture. More than being shouted at, I get hurt when people judge me based on lame reasons and should I say false premises. Maybe it is me, being a Christian that makes me vulnerable to all these things, or maybe it is just them knowing me to be one, which gives them the excuse to do all these things. Whichever the reason, I must say the impact is so heart-piercing that I sometimes ask God to pull me away from these people. But God always tells me to stay and that I must get rid of this habit of being easily annoyed. God tells me I couldn’t nurture the thoughts and the pain for it will bear much agony. That being disheartened and insulted is one thing that hinders me from being anointed. That God could not use me if I choose to be offended rather than being challenged.
I admire the apostle Paul for having endured all the persecutions for God’s name and I wanted to be like him. But as much as I am trying to be like him, it seems like the more sinister the people turn out and the more forgiving I must become. This brings me to the point of ranting and asking GOD the question: “Did I make the wrong decision in asking for the grace to be more forgiving? Because it seems like the burden even grew heavier.” But just as I plan to ask Him this, the picture of the cross readily gives the answer: “Did I ever get tired of forgiving, my daughter? I even died for you on the cross because of my love for you. What greater love can do this? You must not just merely forgive them every time they cause pain, You must learn to love these people. I love you, my daughter that’s why I do not want you to suffer. Cast me your burden. Whenever you feel the world hates you, remember that it hated me first .” And then the same thing happens every time. I become speechless and silent and dumbstruck and humbled. And then I worship, I praise Him and ask Him for grace to conquer all of these.
And then I realize, whenever I fail to forgive, I sin. And whenever I ask for grace to forgive, even if I fail to acknowledge that I myself have sinned against Him, God has already forgiven me. And then I worship Him more, praise Him more and ask Him for more grace to forgive <3